In a line: A book packed with practical ideas on how to improve balance, sensory awareness and movement in children who have experienced trauma. Insightful, thought-provoking and based on years of experience, I only wish Sarah had written it years ago, as simply encouraging Tummy Time has already proved a game-changer.

What’s In the Book

This book is based on sensory integration theory – and describes how missing pieces in early development can impact on the physical and sensory capabilities of children who are adopted or fostered. Sarah makes a clear and thorough case, coupling child development theory and case studies to demonstrate how neglect (and trauma) can result in children having an under-developed system, as well as steps to rebuild it.

This short book stems from Sarah’s years of work with adopted and foster children. She began to notice that traumatized children often move differently, feel different in your arms, and struggle with knowing how their body feels or where it is in space.

‘We noticed children who were so out of tune with themselves that they really struggled to think about any sorts of feelings, even if things were hot or cold.’

Chapter: Introduction

Foster carers said that children didn’t know if they were hungry or full, or felt floppy when you picked them up. But why does that matter? Sarah and her team realised that unless a child was able to register how they felt on the inside, and could recognise if they were anxious or calm, that psychological therapies would be next to useless. A child cannot explore their emotions unless they can feel them.

Sarah discusses the foundation of development, in both broad and detailed terms. She talks about how the body develops, about physical development coming before emotional development and regulation. She explains how neglected children often miss out on important development phases – for instance being left in car seats, or not crawling enough. As I read, I nodded my head at how obvious it all felt (because Sarah describes it so clearly).

Sarah breaks down development into vestibular and proprioceptive systems, so that you begin to see that all the actions, interactions, crawling, rolling and just exploring that babies do are not just for fun but essential steps in their physical and emotional development. How cuddles build pathways in the brain that help with impulse control in later years. How restricted movement is not just an area of emotional neglect, but can seriously impede their physical and sensory development.

But it is in the application and the re-development where this book’s greatest strengths lie. For we have all read many books about trauma and adoption, but not all have the capacity to change your child, your parenting and your family’s future.

Sarah starts by encouraging you to watch your child and how they move, sit, carry items, and gives you clues that might help you recognise the signs of an undeveloped sensory system….

‘They may be too loud or go too fast all time, or they may be a bit clumsy – bumping into things a lot and sliding along walks. They will often struggled with things like using cutlery or handwriting.’

Chapter: The Significance Of Early Movement Experiences

As I read her book, little things began to fall into place and I started to look at my children more closely. Certain phrases had me nodding my head, particularly the way that Bubbles often swings around and hits people or stands on their toes almost because she doesn’t know you are there. This book helped me realise that it’s not that she doesn’t know where YOU are, she doesn’t know where SHE is. Other things struck a chord too – her struggle to use her cutlery (which seemed excellent until she started school) and her constant struggle to sit still. The evidence was mounting. I began to stroke my chinny-chin-chin.

I was surprised to learn that emotional regulation comes after all these other developmental phases. Had I spent years trying to get Bubbles to breathe deeply when she didn’t even know her heart and breathing were fast in the first place? Sarah writes that until they have a developed sensory system (and can therefore feel hot/ cold, hungry/full, frustrated/ calm) then I was trying to get them to run before they could walk.

Oh. Oh dear. No wonder I wasn’t making much headway.

‘What’s really important to grasp is the idea that more complex skills build on a whole host of underlying skills.

Chapter: A Sensory Integration Theory Primer

Sarah lays out all the theory in plain language, highlights specific issues for children whose background is traumatic and how we need to approach this work with sensitivity, allowing ourselves to be lead by the child and their reaction. She also weaves in stories of children she has worked with to demonstrate how you might use the exercises with your children.

The more I read, the more I thought I wish I had read this years ago.

The other big a-ha for me was the importance of keeping my children calm, engaged and happy during all the exercises. Which made me think about the spelling battles I have had, and lost in the past. Even though I know about regulation and its impact on learning, I hadn’t truly appreciated my own personal role in matching the two together.

Now I only ever use these exercises (or suggest we practise spellings) when the children are in a positive emotional state. A slight hint of resistance and I suggest something else. I focus on praise and encouragement throughout. The minute that they start to get distressed or frustrated with the exercises, or if they are too hard, I call a halt. If they have had a bad day at school, now is not the time to do commando crawling or a taste test.

Making it FUN is vital.

What I liked about The Deepest Well

• Sarah draws on a wealth (years) of experience and deep understanding of trauma that really shines through in this book, as does her passion for helping others
• She uses stories and case studies to illustrate both her approach and the impact of these exercises on children
• None of the exercises are complicated or need any specialist equipment – because babies don’t need that either! Your biggest challenge may be making crawling fun for older children (Sarah gives great ideas for that too)!
• The books is very positive and optimistic about the fact that many children can benefit from rebuilding their sensory systems but recognises that not all children should start here
• Sarah always stresses that each exercise must only be continued if the child remains happy and regulated. She is conscious that certain things might trigger anxiety or experiences from their past, and the carer must be mindful of this at all times
• Sarah loves to explain why. So you will find lots of information about the body, the limbic system in the brain, balance, movement and more to give you real insight into child development and what might be missing in traumatized children
• Sarah helped me understand that the order of development (neck, shoulders, shoulder girdle, core) is vital and has to follow a particular sequence to work properly
• I loved how she calls the limbic system the music that is always playing in the background
• Whilst I struggled with her keyboard analogy, I loved her bee sting story as an analogy for trauma – even if it broke my heart a little too

Could It Be Even Better?

I learnt a huge amount from reading this book and it really opened my eyes to the impact of neglect on the physical (and sensory) development of children. I began to think that all the time I had been encouraging my daughter to breathe when she was dysregulated might have been in vain, for she can’t sense her heart rate to know she isn’t regulated.

It made me look at my children with new eyes, But the truth is that on first reading, I didn’t follow through. I did a few exercises – such as watching my children carry a class of water, or do a crisp taste test and they both seemed to manage okay. At this point, I remained a bit unsure what to do or even if there was anything I needed to do.

So I shrugged, dabbled and made little headway. I was knee-deep in Theraplay at the time, so was struggling to find time to add in yet. another. thing.

Then I went on a course led by Sarah Lloyd (the author) as part of Post Adoption Support.

OMG!!!!!

The pre-course observation alone convinced me that my children had under-developed sensory systems. Each question opened my eyes in a whole new way. Sarah described my children in such detail that I knew instantly that she understood and could help them.

Then came the one-day course. I was blown away. Sarah’s experiences, empathy and demonstrations were profound and eye-opening. I began to truly understand what my children lacked and what I could do to change that. My children could walk downstairs okay (i.e. without falling) but when I looked through new eyes, I could see that much was missing. Their bodies swayed and rocked, with their eyes closed they didn’t really know where their bodies (arms, legs etc) were in space, and their arms hung limply by their sides or tracked the wall to help them.

The training course made the information (in this book) come to life in a whole new way. I know knew for certain what to do first. And having Andy (my husband) there to listen and look at the children with fresh information was very important. Suddenly he could also see (and therefore encourage) exercises to help our children’s underdeveloped systems.

As I have described elsewhere (read the blog here), Tummy Time alone has had an extraordinary impact on redeveloping our children, especially Bubbles ability to sit and concentrate. I can only imagine the impact that will have on her ability to learn in school.

In Summary

This book is a great introduction to the sensory development of children, going right back to crawling as the foundation of what comes next. It taught me so much about physical development and what my children lacked as a result of their early experiences. But when I started using the exercises in it to help re-build my children, it became priceless.

Do not underestimate the potential impact on your child of simple exercises like Tummy Time, Commando Crawling and work on their tactile systems. It might just change their life.

We began this work a few months ago now, and have been blown-away by the impact of a single exercise on my daughter. If you can go on a course, then do so, if not the book is the next best thing.