As an adopter, I didn’t have a choice between giving birth and adoption, I found myself in the Land of Adoption because the giving birth route didn’t work out, like many others I have met and connected with since.
But adoption is a secretive and tricky land to live in, because people don’t understand and come out with all sorts of unhelpful nonsense. My mum once suggested that adoption was “just like being pregnant” and I nearly spat my drink out. Just like being pregnant? In what way? I fumed for a while after that I can tell you.
That said, there are differences (some more obvious than others) between adoption and giving birth and this morning on twitter, the lovely adoption twitterati (sparked by a comment from @feelingmumyet) shared their pros and cons about adoption. It morphed into a wonderful celebration of what it means to adopt and what we miss out on:
- Pro – you can pet lambs and eat soft cheese without damaging your child
- Con – there’s no birth to help lose half a stone of “baby weight”
- Con – you can’t get your cracked tooth done on the NHS or free glasses
- Pro – your body doesn’t swell out of shape and you don’t need special stretch mark cream
- Pro – You don’t have to suffer with sore boobs
- Con – You don’t get big boobs either
- Con – people don’t give you their seat on the train or bus
- Pro – you can go on a boozy holiday just before the child arrives
- Pro – you don’t have to pee every hour after having them
- Con – you never get to pee on your own/ without an audience again
- Con – no stories to share when other mums ask “how was your pregnancy/ labour/ childbirth”
- Pro – plenty of stories about PAR and panel and matching to share on twitter
- Pro – there is no morning sickness to deal with for weeks on end
- Con – no-one tells you how much adoption “suits you” or that you are “glowing”
- Con – you can’t wallpaper social media with photos of your new addition(s)
- Pro – you don’t have whispered tales of what happened “down there” that send shudders down your spine as you remember
- Pro – you can wear high heels until they move in
- Con – you’ll only wear trainers once they have
Pro – you get to meet and become friends with incredible people on twitter – which is where this blog post was born. But this isn’t everything, there are more pros and cons on the wonderful “Feeling Mum Yet” blog, click here: Feeling Mum Yet: Pros and Cons Part Two
Adoption was not like being pregnant one little bit, but I did eat lots more cake to make up for it.
Thanks to the adoption twitterati including @field_erica, @stillfreckled, @adoptingstorks and @webuiltahome for their pros and cons that I have used in this blog.
What Pros and Cons would you add to these lists?
(my own list of the pros and cons of adoption can be found in my book “And Then There Were Four” soon to be published on Kindle)